Joy

Lately I have been finding joy in everything I see and do. I find joy in the sunshine. In the mountain range outside my window, in the satisfaction of a clean house, in the simple smile and things my son learns, in the companionship of my family, in the opportunity to exercise, in the ability to make good bread. I have joy! I am studying how to be more charitable (the way God loves us and everyone around us, and how we should love others) in my scripture study. I have learned that when we feel joy we are feeling God's love. When we express gratitude for that joy and what we are finding joy in we are loving God with the kind of love he loves us with. Joy is a great topic to think about especially when Thanksgiving and Christmas are just around the corner but I haven't been thinking about it just because of the holidays. They are more of a pleasant afterthought. I just love life and all the possibilities of things to do, learn, and teach. Life is so interesting and we have the privilege to explore what its all about.  Be joyful! And let God know you are and for what reasons! You will feel blessed because you are blessed.

"This is Halloween!"

This Halloween holiday we have painted pumpkins, raked leaves, ate roasted pumpkin seeds, made pumpkin chocolate muffins with cinnamon cream cheese frosting (courtesy of my friend Karissa ), danced to Halloween music, decorated the apartment, carved pumpkins, read ghost stories, juiced my own apple cider, trick or treated, made pumpkin smoothies, and ate lots and lots of candy!  I love Halloween. I know some members of the LDS church choose to do something else with their families on this day but really we are celebrating the people who have died. So there is nothing to be ashamed of in celebrating the holiday commercially. Its not evil. Also celebrating holidays makes life more interesting.  Here are some pictures and videos of a few of the above mentioned activities and some other random pictures:

Silly boy.

Halloween decor. We made the spiders.

First time painting. Painting pumpkins.

I think he got just about every thing.

The damage.

It happened to a really warm day hence the onesie.

Showing elmo the washer.

First haircut with the electric razor by his daddy. I gave him the last one.

Hugging the pumpkin. He did this when I said to smile.

Elmo

Farmer boy.

Farmer girl.

So we are the farmer's who harvest our pumpkin.

Love the on demand smile.

Sorry about the lame angle. I forget sometimes that I can't rotate a video.

Dang Appliances!

So there's a thing about appliances that have great similarities to cars. They break down. So we bought this snazzy old whirlpool thin-twin stacked washer/dryer when we moved in. We thought we could only buy the small versions due to the door. But I figured out a way to open it that could allow any large appliance into the room. Our old washer dryer wasn't going to live long and I have learned my lesson buying old appliances, or at least buying them when I know they are at the end of their lives. I have learned a lot of about washers and dryers. I have learned that depending on the brand they live either 5-7 years old or 7-16 years old. So if you buy a 10 year old appliance you shouldn't hope for much. Our washer was leaking. So we got a pan. I did like 12 loads of laundry last week and when I was on my last 3 loads the agitator got stuck and it quit spinning and draining. It would fill up, then drain, then fill up, then drain. By the end of the 14 minute cycle (short I know) it would be half full of water. Great.  We already are poor enough. But now we have to worry about the washer dryer. You know people don't last long on their own with out one.  We also have a problem with our car we are going to figure out this weekend.

Anyway, so what else did I learn? I want a washer  dryer set that is under 5 years old.  I also wanted a front loader because it uses half the water and you can fit 15 more items in it than a top loader. I found a wonderful tacky deal online. First it sounded like a good idea to buy a portable washer from Wal-mart for 260 because its cheaper than all the rest of the washer at the stores. It is also the same size as the washer I had. Our dryer still worked fine. Then I got over my fear of buying used appliances, because I got afraid since we bought this one used, but then I discovered the age thing that I should buy a newer used appliances. Anyway, so I found this deal that a woman was selling a set for 250. Perfect! We could have a larger washer and dryer for the same price as a tiny washer from Wal mart.  I could do more than twice as much laundry at a time. It is tacky though because they aren't matching brands. If it bugs me enough, which it probably won't because as I mentioned in a post long ago, most things in our apartment are quirky, I could buy a another dryer that is the same brand as my washer. We bought the set with thorough inspection. I did take a gamble, however, on the dryer because it wasn't near where it could be hooked up so I just trusted the girl that it worked. Perry and I manned up and brought it home together, lifted it together into our 5 steps into our home and asked a couple neighbors to help swap the hoses since we didn't have a clamp plier. And Voila! We have a Frigidaire front load washer, max capacity, and pretty little buttons that light up the settings. And a older looking Kenmore dryer. I'm still trying to figure out the little nuances that machines have. The dial successfully turns on its own when I have the dryer on a timed dry but on auto dry it doesn't seem to move. Maybe it isn't supposed to. I'm not sure. I can't seem to find the model number anywhere online to find the manual. Luckily I did find the manual for the washer though because I really wanted to clean up the soap dispenser thing. Underneath where no one could see was mold so I clean all the mold out. Now it is almost in pristine condition. I just need to really scrub some soap scum out of the rubber part before you get to the stainless steel drum. It has built up and I doubt anyone thought to clean it.

Anyway we are happy for our new buys and I rearranged the furniture in Grant's room so that it will fit and things are hunky dory. The dryer wasn't closing all the way and it was missing a part that held the door up to latch. Oh I forgot to mention we are recycling our old washer/dryer and someone is picking it up on Friday or Saturday. So I found the part on the old machine and took it off and will put it on our new set so that the door will latch! Yay!

Day 5

So I wasn't planning on continuing my report on Grant's napping but this story was too funny to withhold. So I put Grant down for his nap like usual and he didn't go to sleep. He was in there for 2 hours playing, sometimes whining and crying but mainly playing. Then I see his pants are a little baggy and he is walking on them. Then his pants are off. Then I texted Perry and told him about it and said that I hope his diaper doesn't come off. I could hear him saying "peepee" "poo poo". I thought, well maybe he isn't sleeping because he filled his diaper. Then next thing I know I see a bare bum on the tv monitor. I ran upstairs and went in to immediately put another diaper on. Thank goodness he was dry and so was the bed! And that ended his nap play/quiet time for the day lol!

Obedience and Napping Update

Grant is getting to the age where he really uses his autonomy. Its a great feeling to know that he is learning about exercising our God given gift of agency.  He is learning what is right and wrong by the boundaries I set for him and he gets millions of opportunities during the day to choose whether or not he will obey me. Of course if I set a boundary I will never back down unless I quickly realize it probably wasn't the best idea. Either way, its exciting to see how he will react every way and especially satisfying when he does do what I ask him.

For example, today we had just gotten back from a long walk and playtime at the park and library. We started walking inside when Grant noticed his new found favorite outdoor toy: The rake. But after a day of fun with it yesterday Grant decided he wanted to haul it up the stairs to play with it indoors. I noticed this when he was almost to the top and said, "We play with the rake outside Grant, not inside." He proceeded to tell me in his own words something about the xylophone and the drum, so I'm suspecting he was planning on using it to play with those instruments. lol. Funny guy! Anyway. I repeated my self about 10 times. He got a little upset and bit the handle of the rake and then proceeded to bring the rake back down the stairs and put it upright next to his bucket of balls. Wow all that effort to do the right thing (obeying his mother) and even place it back where it was supposed to go lol. Those things I adore about him among many others. He is becoming quite the toddler wanting things just the right way for his pickiness.

Here is my little goober just last October. Look at his cute Halloween pjs courtesy of Gma Flora.

In other news, it is day 3 in the new napping schedule and this time when I put him in his crib he immediately rolled over to a comfortable lying position. He is currently babbling about something and has been in there for about 15 minutes. So so far he is taking longer to fall asleep but at least he isn't crying. :)  I love the fact that his new nap routine of singing while rocking him makes him sleepy. He was rubbing his eyes when just 10 minutes before he was wide eyed.

Motherhood

Motherhood is hard. Let no one tell you otherwise. The hardest struggles I have had as a mother are sleep deprivation and anxiety. That is why the guidance of the Holy Spirit is so important because for one, the Spirit will calm the anxieties, and two, will tell you what needs to be done for that child. We all should be reminded that our children are not ours only but we are stewards over them for our Heavenly Father. They are such precious gifts and blessings and that is why the anxieties set in, because we want to do our best for them and make sure they have the tools to fulfill their potentials.

Not only is sleep deprivation an issue (usually in the first 6 months of a babe's life) but the concept of naps and bedtimes for the baby. I wanted so badly for my baby to get the "recommended" amount of sleep needed during night and nap times. When Grant has a hard time going down for a nap it brings on the anxiety. When he wakes up mid nap I am anxious. When it takes him a while to fall asleep I am anxious.

After being a mother for a little over 20 months I am not as anxious and probably not anxious at all at night time and when he wakes mid nap but I have come to except that my expectations and hopes will be dashed in order to help buoy me up and refine my attitudes about my son. When he doesn't nap as long as I want  him to my first emotion is frustration. Then I have to remember that I am only frustrated because he didn't sleep as long as is best for him AND I didn't get all the idle alone time I need want. Okay okay so the nap alone time is definitely needed for sanity's sake but I will admit I do get bored and want him to wake up sometimes. But that just means I need more hobbies and I could also start working out and being better to my body in the process.

So as anyone who reads my blog knows I never write a blog about philosophical topics. Ever. So there is a catch to this sudden burst of thought. Today starts a new day of nap routines.  I have spoiled coddled my baby up to this point by letting him nurse to sleep for nap time. We all know this isn't recommended. Especially me: One who studied child development in my undergrad. I knew the right stuff about getting the baby drowsy but not asleep and then placing them in the crib and eventually they will fall asleep on their own. Also, it isn't the best pattern to establish when I want to someday completely wean him. He will be weaned by age 2 for sure. I feel no criticism because the World Health Organization recommends nursing until a baby is two. So I nurse Grant for about 3 minutes before bed time.

Now today I decided, because yesterday I was so frustrated about Grant's need and expectation to nurse at nap time, that he would now not be nursed to sleep. Such thoughts of "what if he doesn't fall asleep or nap because he can really stay up until bedtime?" crept into my mind. Also no mom wants to hear their baby scream and cry from disappointment, because we are supposed to always make things better. Well anyway, today was day 2. I sung to him in my arms, then nursed him for 5 minutes, kissed his forehead and said "have a good nap!" and placed him in his crib and left.

Wow. Freedom.

He doesn't use a pacifier at all by the way, not even to fall asleep. But I thought it was a cute pic.

Today before nap time I set up some of my expectations and made them very broad as to not disappoint myself. I set the rule that he would probably cry for a half hour and wouldn't be asleep for about an hour and a half.

So he cried for a total of 3 min. Then he was asleep within 10! Talk about wonderful. I no longer feel the anguish of depriving my baby of anything and feel that everything will be alright. He will be successfully weaned by 2 and this is just the first step of slowly cutting him off.

The good thing about having more children is each time you have another child you figure more things out and probably parent better too. I look forward to doing more appropriate bed time and nap time routines for my consecutive kids and nursing to sleep will not be part of the regimen.

Visitations

My family really likes to visit. I also really like it when they visit because I get to show off where I live. And they all seem very happy when they come. My mom was passing through with a family friend. The friend bought a condo in Colorado and Orem is the halfway point back to Nevada so they visited me. My dad got jealous I suppose of my mom getting to see Grant yet again and to Megan's delight they came up too, for the weekend. We had a good ole time and I mentioned a few of the adventures already. My parents left on Monday. It was good timing too. If people stay too long it will make marriages and good relations with your family go out of wack. We kind of have an unspoken rule but I guess I'm writing it now, but that guests should only visit for 4 days. Any longer and people get sick of each other. Grumblings start to begin, and backs ache from not being in their normal bed. Anyway, the frequent small visits are fun to say the least and I say let them keep coming.