Motherhood

Motherhood is hard. Let no one tell you otherwise. The hardest struggles I have had as a mother are sleep deprivation and anxiety. That is why the guidance of the Holy Spirit is so important because for one, the Spirit will calm the anxieties, and two, will tell you what needs to be done for that child. We all should be reminded that our children are not ours only but we are stewards over them for our Heavenly Father. They are such precious gifts and blessings and that is why the anxieties set in, because we want to do our best for them and make sure they have the tools to fulfill their potentials.

Not only is sleep deprivation an issue (usually in the first 6 months of a babe's life) but the concept of naps and bedtimes for the baby. I wanted so badly for my baby to get the "recommended" amount of sleep needed during night and nap times. When Grant has a hard time going down for a nap it brings on the anxiety. When he wakes up mid nap I am anxious. When it takes him a while to fall asleep I am anxious.

After being a mother for a little over 20 months I am not as anxious and probably not anxious at all at night time and when he wakes mid nap but I have come to except that my expectations and hopes will be dashed in order to help buoy me up and refine my attitudes about my son. When he doesn't nap as long as I want  him to my first emotion is frustration. Then I have to remember that I am only frustrated because he didn't sleep as long as is best for him AND I didn't get all the idle alone time I need want. Okay okay so the nap alone time is definitely needed for sanity's sake but I will admit I do get bored and want him to wake up sometimes. But that just means I need more hobbies and I could also start working out and being better to my body in the process.

So as anyone who reads my blog knows I never write a blog about philosophical topics. Ever. So there is a catch to this sudden burst of thought. Today starts a new day of nap routines.  I have spoiled coddled my baby up to this point by letting him nurse to sleep for nap time. We all know this isn't recommended. Especially me: One who studied child development in my undergrad. I knew the right stuff about getting the baby drowsy but not asleep and then placing them in the crib and eventually they will fall asleep on their own. Also, it isn't the best pattern to establish when I want to someday completely wean him. He will be weaned by age 2 for sure. I feel no criticism because the World Health Organization recommends nursing until a baby is two. So I nurse Grant for about 3 minutes before bed time.

Now today I decided, because yesterday I was so frustrated about Grant's need and expectation to nurse at nap time, that he would now not be nursed to sleep. Such thoughts of "what if he doesn't fall asleep or nap because he can really stay up until bedtime?" crept into my mind. Also no mom wants to hear their baby scream and cry from disappointment, because we are supposed to always make things better. Well anyway, today was day 2. I sung to him in my arms, then nursed him for 5 minutes, kissed his forehead and said "have a good nap!" and placed him in his crib and left.

Wow. Freedom.

He doesn't use a pacifier at all by the way, not even to fall asleep. But I thought it was a cute pic.

Today before nap time I set up some of my expectations and made them very broad as to not disappoint myself. I set the rule that he would probably cry for a half hour and wouldn't be asleep for about an hour and a half.

So he cried for a total of 3 min. Then he was asleep within 10! Talk about wonderful. I no longer feel the anguish of depriving my baby of anything and feel that everything will be alright. He will be successfully weaned by 2 and this is just the first step of slowly cutting him off.

The good thing about having more children is each time you have another child you figure more things out and probably parent better too. I look forward to doing more appropriate bed time and nap time routines for my consecutive kids and nursing to sleep will not be part of the regimen.

Visitations

My family really likes to visit. I also really like it when they visit because I get to show off where I live. And they all seem very happy when they come. My mom was passing through with a family friend. The friend bought a condo in Colorado and Orem is the halfway point back to Nevada so they visited me. My dad got jealous I suppose of my mom getting to see Grant yet again and to Megan's delight they came up too, for the weekend. We had a good ole time and I mentioned a few of the adventures already. My parents left on Monday. It was good timing too. If people stay too long it will make marriages and good relations with your family go out of wack. We kind of have an unspoken rule but I guess I'm writing it now, but that guests should only visit for 4 days. Any longer and people get sick of each other. Grumblings start to begin, and backs ache from not being in their normal bed. Anyway, the frequent small visits are fun to say the least and I say let them keep coming.

Harvest

Isn't "harvest" a great fall word!? Well I had the opportunity to harvest mostly everything from my garden. I harvested 3 bell peppers, 1 jalopeno (there are two more growing), a bunch of cherry and regular tomatoes, 8 cucumbers, some little onions, a couple green beans, and I have yet to harvest 3 Zucchini, 2 pumpkins, and a bunch of green onions and spinach! Yay! Next year our garden will be even bigger and I will plant mint so that I can dry it and make mint tea. It is the best for unsettled stomachs as well as cinnamon tea with straight cinnamon. But it would be even cooler if I used a cinnamon stick. I wonder if I could grow cinnamon...hm. We also have a chestnut tree in our backyard! So Grant likes to gather, count, and throw them but I will bring them in and "roast" them. Maybe I will find a good recipe, or maybe I will save the roasted ones for Christmas and feel so festive singing "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire"!

He's got a mission to water everything!

Pumpkin. If it doesn't freeze this might get orange.

Chestnuts.

Other harvests include pulling my dill and I am currently drying them. I will use that in lots of delicious things. Especially swedish potatoes. Just boil potatoes with dill and butter and mmmm mmm! My mom and I also found a listing for free apples. They were in a person's backyard. We got about 1.5 apple boxes worth of small apples. They are golden delicious type. I have lots of cider, caramel apples, and apple pies and breads to make! I am so excited. We also spotted some unclaimed Concord grapes! They taste just like grape juice! Amazingly sweet and rich. Grant loves them. He will eat it but spit out the seeds lol. I think he thinks they are blueberries but he knows they are called grapes. Anyway, we got a bunch of those. So now I am overflowing with produce. Its a wonderful feeling. I won't have to buy much this pay-period with all this food lying around. I forgot to mention that my mom also spotted a Plum and Pear free u-pick around the corner from my house so I have a bunch of those too. MMmmm.

Autumn

So if anyone asks me my favorite season I would say summer. But really when the end of the season comes I'm usually excited for the next one. I just am not a fan of rain and cold. I take that back, I do like the rain because I get this burst of energy and aching to cook and bake. Some featured things for this month will be autumn muffins, homemade caramel apples, and pumpkin pie.  But autumn, when it is sunny is the best. The air isn't hot enough to sweat in but warm enough with a nice cool crisp breeze. Perfect for going to the park with Grant. I love that feeling. Also the leaves are bursting with colorful life! And it does seem a bit ironic that this is actually the death cycle of the leaves. Oh well they are gorgeous! If I were to redo my wedding colors they would have been the autumn colors. When I see colorful leaves I just was want to jump for joy and shout grateful words to my Creator for the beauty and diversity of this earth!

Driving through Provo Canyon

Cool Caterpillar

Gorgeous trees. They are Aspen.

We made it to the waterfall!

Drumming on a rock.

We went for a hike in the spectacular views of Provo Canyon. September and October are the best times of the year to go. But I think Summer is really nice too because once you get onto the mountain trail the air gets cooler.  A perfect escape from the hot weather in the valley (even though it doesn't compare to escaping Redding heat).  Anyway, we went up Mt. Timpanogos trail about a mile in to the first landmark of a waterfall. Grant loves waterfalls and whenever we go up Provo Canyon he talks about the waterfall and the tunnel we go through to get to the hikes. It was beautiful. I have decided I will need Aspen trees, Maple trees, and Red Oak trees in my dream home's yard. The colors will be magnificent. And I really like those trees year round.

All of the pictures by the way show Grant smiling. He has learned how to smile on demand lol I love it! We have such a funny video of the process of asking him to smile and then after the demand smile it changes a little to his real smile. lol. I love it. He is so cute.  I never brag about my child's cuteness because everyone else does lol. I know I'm really bragging now. But that's my job as his mother right? He is jibber jabbering a lot and saying a lot of sensible words too. But lately he has really been working his "L"s. He is growing up!

Farm Festivities

We wanted to celebrate the fall by going to a farm with a petting zoo and fun things all around. It wasn't all that I had hoped but Grandpa spoiled Grant with paying for him to go into the petting zoo, to ride a pony, and to play in a bounce house. It was really fun to watch.

2nd Pony ride ever.

It almost looks like his left arm is resting on the seat of the tractor lol.

Such a cute little baby cow.

Can you tell he has a big smile on his face?

Aun May-gnan?

Later on we wanted to go pick out pumpkins so on a nice Monday evening we went to a farm with a free hayride through the farm and got some free hot cocoa when we got back. They had really cheap pumpkins too. Grant got to pick out a 50 cent one and Perry and I each got a dollar one. Grant enjoyed counting the pumpkins. He can count to ten with out any help at all and he counts all the time.

I know most parents think their child is the greatest and I'm in that very category. He can throw and kick like a pro, he can count to ten, he talks all the time, when I ask him something that he answers with a yes he says "yes, right". So cute. Grant also says things grammatically correct like if I say, "You counted the pumpkins", he would say,"I  count pumpkins". I don't think most babies can reverse the "You" and "I". Grant is also a very good drummer and xylophonist. He can play simple songs sometimes randomly and he can keep a basic drum beat that they do on the big drum sets every once in a while. Amazing!

Anyway, enough about my spectacular child. I think its all the attention I give him. And I think he has a very secure relationship with me because he plays independently alot but also begs me to read him books. He also goes to nursery with out a peep.